Our Services
Property Division
World leaders in premium cardboard box real estate and window-adjacent properties.
Luxury Box Developments
- Single-cat penthouses
- Multi-level box complexes
- Premium Amazon Prime boxes
- Artisanal hand-torn corners
Window Properties
- South-facing sun spots
- Bird-watching vantages
- Premium windowsill lounges
- Heated radiator nooks
Hedge Fund Management
Our proprietary "Always Land on Your Feet" trading algorithm has never failed. Guided by whiskers-on experience and nine lives of market insight.
Investment Strategies
- Catnip futures trading
- Yarn market speculation
- Box futures derivatives
- Treat-backed securities
Risk Management
- Nine lives diversification
- Purr-folio rebalancing
- Whisker sensitivity analysis
- Tail risk hedging
Catnip Operations
Vertically integrated organic catnip farming and distribution network. From farm to scratching post.
Production Facilities
- Organic catnip farms
- State-of-the-art processing
- Quality control lab
- Research & Development
Products
- Premium loose catnip
- Infused toys
- Specialty blends
- Molecular gastronomy line
Human Training Institute
World-class education for humans seeking to better serve their feline overlords.
Core Curriculum
- Treat Timing Precision
- Door Opening Mechanics
- Advanced Scritching Techniques
- Lap Optimization Studies
Specialty Programs
- 3am Feeding Protocols
- Box Procurement Strategy
- Meow Interpretation
- Laser Pointer Physics